Jerk For Arranged Marriage

Note:I wrote this piece with minimal care for grammar, lot of vivid imagination and exuberance of over-thinking while having no-time. I hope I can be forgiven but not forgotten by the reader. 

Hmmm… So when you reach the age of 24. What do you worry about the most? Vanity, Career, Education; whether it is Fiesta tonight or Siesta. Well, add to the amalgamation of these worries I also have to worry about my matrimonial Alliance, match made in heaven or Shaadi as my Maa (mother) so eloquently puts it.  Oh! How I cringe and shiver thinking of it and how my Maa’s interest is peaked when she hears about the eligible bachelors.  Va’ fa Napoli! To all the eligible bachelors. Ahem…nothing against the “Eligible Bachelors”, its just that I’m fan of Joey(Matt Blanc) from FRIENDS and they are the only people I can vent it on. To be frank none of these eligible bachelors have done anything to face and bear my wrath. I have found these poor poor homo sapiens suffer the same dilemma that I do. Their parents interest are also easily peaked like my Maa’s and they too have to look at wiggling eyebrows of ever curious match-makings babes(The Aunties).

The Aunties are an interesting character who wants to see you all happy and settled in your life. It is curious observation of the said Auntie which may land you in prospective bride or groom list and it is these analytical eyes which can beat any logarithm pattern applied by a dating site. You may think I’m crazy but as I’m easily bored in a party and I had the privilege to observe the hit and miss game of matrimonial alliance. Many times the conversation with the Aunties will start with “So Beta (Kid), What  are you doing these days?” And I didn’t realize till it was late that such question should either ring warning bells in your ear or the wedding bells.

If you are ready to enjoy marital bliss, through a prospective alliance which is arranged for you, things can get tad difficult when marriage dossier is exchanged between the two families. First, you maybe embarrassed by the achievements and accomplishments that your kin wrote and thought will make you look like an inquisitively charming persona but actually make other to perceive you as inquisitively superficial. Second, there might be a question of more photographs of you being required by the other person, to you know make a “better decision” because you know it doesn’t matter that you have not actually made a conversation with the said person but your look should be apt to their imagination (please note the sarcasm). In such case I had with dollops subtlety sent most annoying pics of me. And third difficult (atleast for shy and socially awkward people like me) task is the “First Meet”. Yup.. These two words says it all, you will either meet arrogance (Hello! Mr. Darcy) who has come to tell you that s/he only wants to marry what they consider to be beautiful person or money making machine. But if you are anything like me with the fate like mine, you will end up meeting an amiable person who you can atleast see being friends with and put foot in your mouth with little ketchup on top.

As I’ve reached an age (according to my Maa) where rather than worrying about my future (as if I was doing that bad) they would rather find someone who can carry the torch of my said ”future”. Like I have damsel in distress syndrome which if I think about it may have. So now  I have come to realize either I should find perfect match for myself or stop whining and say I have married myself to my work or God’s work on earth. Or I could learn the tricks and enjoy little treats of Jerk for an Arranged Marriage.


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